Leaning Into the Crazy

I know I've eluded to it in recent posts, but holy moly. Life has been ridiculously busy lately. My hubby is finishing his master's degree, I'm working overtime at the day job, little man is...well... a toddler, and I'm working my booty off trying to make lots of great art for portfolio and art business building. Tack on the usual "life stuff" like laundry, meal planning, friends visiting, bill paying, groceries, phone calls, emails, play dates - you know it all - and WOW! Let's just say sleep and self-care have been on the back burner for a while and it's starting to catch up with me. I have a good friend who often says something to the effect of "Anyone can be authentic and kind in the good times, but... It's who you are when the going gets tough - that's what counts." I've been thinking about that a lot lately. And to be totally honest, I'm not the best mama or wife or friend when I'm tired, overwhelmed and have a to-do list a mile long. I'm actually kinda cranky and can be short with people that I love. It's hard to admit it, but I could really step up my game a little when life gets crazy. What I will say is that I am extremely driven and reliable when the going gets tough - I can put my head down, dig in and work super hard. I just get overly goal-oriented. And sometimes I let that side get the better of me. So I've been trying to figure out what to do instead of getting all cranky and rushed in the overwhelm. *I think* (because I'm still learning), instead of running away or plowing through the crazy, you gotta lean into it. Be there for it, feel it and allow it to be crazy. I love this quote from Glennon Doyle Melton, "IF IT’S EASY AND SHINY- BEWARE. IF IT STINGS A LITTLE – SIT TIGHT, GET CURIOUS, AND THEN LEAN IN." So how do I practice leaning into the craziness? I think it's as simple as just showing up and doing my best. I want to let go of the need to "fix" the craziness or make it go away. I can see it for what it is, watch my reactions to it all and know that it won't last forever. But what will last forever is my love for my family & friends, acknowledgement of all the little {extra} ordinary moments that happen daily in the midst of the craziness, and the strength/kindness/softness/realness that comes from going through the crazy times. So yeah, it's work, but it's another one of those moments where I gotta be really really really conscious about where I put all of my drive and energy - into the product or the journey. I want to choose the journey - the long-term investment.
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